Introduction: What does it mean to be supportive?

Supportive people are those who have a positive attitude and are willing to help others. They are there for you when you need them the most. They are always ready to offer a listening ear, a shoulder to cry on or an encouraging word. Supportive people don’t judge others, they just want what is best for them in life and will do anything they can to make that happen.

The word “support” comes from the Latin word “sustentāre”, which means “to hold up”. This is why supportive people will always be there for you, holding you up when you need it most, no matter what happens in your life.

What is the Best Way to Be Supportive?

What is the best way to be supportive?

There are many ways to be supportive and it’s important to remember that no one way is better than another. It’s also important to recognize that not everyone needs the same level of support. For example, someone who has just lost their job may need a lot of emotional support, while someone who just got a promotion may need more practical help.

An important thing to remember is that you don’t have to be perfect and there is no such thing as being too supportive. Just try your best and do what feels right in the moment.

Finally, you can offer practical support by helping them solve their problems or challenges.

How Parents Can Provide Support for Their Children

Parents are the first and most important support system for their children. They can provide encouragement, guidance, and help children to develop good habits.

Parents should be aware of their child’s emotional needs. They need to make time for themselves so that they can have the energy to support their child. Parents should also be aware of the signs of addiction or mental health issues in their child so that they can get help for them as soon as possible.

Ten Tips for Supporting Someone with Depression or Anxiety without Overdoing It

1. Listen without judging.

2. Ask questions to show you care and build trust.

3. Offer support, not advice.

4. Keep your expectations realistic and don’t push too hard for change too soon.

5. Be patient, understanding and forgiving of mistakes or relapse episodes that happen as the person is recovering from depression or anxiety disorder

6. Be patient with yourself, it’s not easy to support someone with a mental illness

7. Remember to take care of yourself too

8. Don’t be afraid to ask for help if you need it

9. Encourage them to stay connected with their social network, even if they are feeling down at the moment

10 . Remind them that they are not alone

How to Be Supportive and Provide It in the Right Way

There is no universal way of being supportive. To be supportive, you have to know the person and what they need.

If you are someone who needs help and you have someone who is a good listener, you may find that just talking about your problems for a while will make you feel better.

For someone else, it might be to talk about how they plan to solve their problem.

For someone else, it might be to talk about what they are doing to try to make themselves feel better.

What is the Ideal Supportiveness?

The Ideal Supportiveness is a new way of looking at the concept of supportiveness. It is not about just being supportive but about being the type of person that you would want to be supported by.

Supportiveness is not just about giving someone a hug when they are feeling down or giving them words of encouragement. It’s also about knowing what your friend needs and providing it for them without being asked for it.

How Does Lack of Supportiveness Affect Relationships?

Lack of supportiveness affects relationships in many ways. It can lead to feelings of loneliness, insecurity, and self-doubt. It can also lead to feelings of anger and resentment.

A lack of supportiveness in a relationship can be caused by a variety of things including feeling like you are not being heard, feeling like you are being taken advantage of, or feeling like you are not getting your needs met. Some people may feel that their partner is not supportive when they constantly criticize them or they never offer any praise or encouragement.

How Can We Take Proactive Steps Towards Being More Supportive?

The first step in being more supportive is to make sure that we are not making assumptions about other people. It is important that we take the time to listen to what others are saying and understand their situation.

Another important way of being more supportive is by acknowledging the person’s efforts and accomplishments. We need to be sensitive towards how hard it can be for people who are struggling with a mental health condition. This can be done by showing empathy and understanding, as well as providing them with support when they need it most.

Conclusion: How Can You & I Be More Supportive?

It is not easy to be supportive when you are feeling down. But it is important to be supportive and not judge the person going through it.

Here are some ways in which you can help someone who is going through a tough time:

– Show that you care by asking how they are feeling and listening without judging them.

– Encourage them to talk about what they are going through and offer solutions if they need help.

– Let them know that there will be better days ahead and remind them of the things that make them happy.

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Using the Goldilocks principle to stay motivated

I read about a technique that can help keep you at peak motivation for a longer duration. It’s called the Goldilocks rule. It suggests that, if you maintain the challenge at an optimal sweet spot, then you won’t feel demotivated or feel discouraged. The trick is to keep the challenge at a manageable difficulty level.

If you feel the challenge/ task is too easy, then you won’t do it as you will grow bored at some point. But if the task is too hard, then you will get discouraged and lose the will to do it. So it is recommended to do the tasks that are at the right difficulty level. And thereby maintaining the motivation at a higher state all the time.

While this is true, it doesn’t mean to ignore tasks that are less or more challenging. Sometimes it’s worthwhile to focus on them too, some may even grow challenging down the line. Or if you get better at that task, then you will naturally want it to be more challenging.

Why do you lose motivation after a few days?

Usually, people take new resolutions at the start of a new year and start with determination. But they can’t continue beyond a certain point for some reason. It’s not that they lack information and eventually lose interest over the course of time. They also know the importance of doing it and the benefits that come with them. But the missing factor can be self-doubt, missing a clear vision, not focusing on your goals, wanting instant gratification or all of these combined. Hitting the gym is one of the most common examples. You can go join one and continue the habit for a week or so. But you can lose interest after that as you won’t see results immediately. If you start doubting if it’ll get you to where you want, then you will think of reconsidering the decision itself.

The world is designed in a way that benefits people who are able to make consistent work in a better way. The ones who seek instant gratification are left behind in the race. It is so easy to forget your purpose amidst all the distractions, but the rewards that you are really after will only come to you if you walk the path that is harder.

How do you keep your motivation at Peak?

The best way to stay motivated is by remembering the reason why you started. A simple example such as keeping a picture of you doing what you like, on display, will help you to reorient the focus that looks like it’s about to shift. This will influence you to do the work you have to. A constant reminder of what you would be with or without the goal will go a long way in helping the cause.

Motivation doesn’t come on its own without getting started in the first place. You have to take up the challenge, like it and start getting used to it. Once you start to see the results, it becomes harder for you to give up. Until then, you have to keep putting in the

Additional factors to help you stay motivated

If you are planning to make use of the Goldilocks principle, these factors will also improve the probability for you to stay motivated.

Breakdown the Goals

You have always heard people tell you to keep your dreams sky high. Sometimes it can be daunting as it will discourage you from pursuing them as they look unattainable at some point. If your dream scares you, then break it down into simpler ones. This makes it easier for you to believe that it can be accomplished and can also help you get things done much faster. For example, constructing a building may look like a big task. But if you focus on the things one day at a time, it will help you make things easier and the progress trackable.

Have a Plan of Action

It is important to have a plan of action to guide you on your steps to reach the goal. Without a clear vision and a plan, you will only move along endlessly into random paths. Ultimately that will lead to regret and resentment. It is better to chart out how you want to get closer to your dreams if you want to make them a reality.

Reward Yourself

This is overlooked most of the time when you keep working hard towards your goals. Sometimes it is necessary to keep checkpoints during the course and reward yourself well for all that you’ve done. If you don’t think you are deserving enough for all the tireless hours you spent, then think again. Rewarding yourself can push you up when you hit a wall and prevents you from experiencing burn out.

Keep Positive people around

Keeping people who are supportive and want the best for you around will make it less complicated. They can act as someone who you can lean on during tough times and also help you track your progress. When you stop focusing on the goals, they can help you get back on the horse. They can also be supportive of your goals even when they have only a tiny part to play.

Keep Track of Your Progress

As someone following our passion, we need to constantly have a check on our progress. It is a feeling of satisfaction and relief that our work is taking a form and beginning to make sense. To have that sensation and tracking the progress regularly will help you stay motivated in the long run.

If you are looking for a book to see yourself how good you really are, I recommend You Are Awesome.

Are you someone who is highly motivated or still working towards your goal? I hope you get what you always wanted and live a fulfilled life and make your dreams come true.

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The Secret of getting ahead is getting started.

Mark Twain

What is Productivity?

Productivity is the rate at which work is done or the quantity of work being done at a particular time. For a company, being highly productive is closely linked to the ability to make more products. For a school, higher productivity may be to train more students. Productivity revolves around getting an increase in the output. The more the actual work being done in a particular amount of time, the more productive it is.

At a workplace, if an employee A completes 15 projects and employee B completes 12 projects in a month, then employee A is more productive than B. Even if employee B handles bigger projects, the quantity takes the priority here.

What is Efficiency?

Efficiency is the comparison between the time required to accomplish a task and a particular standard in an industry or business. Simply put, it means to compare the actual hours required, to the hours it usually takes to complete it.

Efficiency is more about getting an increase in the output while expending a lesser amount of resources. The quality of work that you do takes more priority than the other resources such as number of people etc.

At a company, if 5 employees finish a certain work in 2 days and 3 employees finish that work in 1 day, then the 3 employees are more efficient than the former.

Efficiency may sometimes be more desirable than productivity depending on the circumstances. As it stands, both productivity and efficiency are an important part of any business.

Why do Productivity and Efficiency compete with each other?

Many people find it hard to distinguish Productivity and Efficiency. In fact, they are confusing at first glance. People want to be as productive as possible but they lose out on being efficient at the same time.

At most times, productivity can come at the expense of efficiency. And Efficiency can come at the expense of productivity. But this doesn’t imply that you have to give up on one thing to achieve the other.

Efficiency tasks, require more diligent work and sometimes take more time than anticipated. Hence, the quality of work produced is high. Since it takes more time, it can sometimes be counterproductive as you lose the extra time you could spend on something more productive.

Productive tasks, on the other hand, require you to complete as many tasks as possible without focusing too much on the quality. Since you focus on the quantity more, the result can sometimes have quality issues.

The Right Balance between being Productivity and Efficiency

If one element opposes the other, how is it possible to achieve the right balance between the two?

While not everyone can master this, the balance between productivity and efficiency can be achieved if you follow these steps diligently:

• Analyze the time needed: Analyze the work to be done and evaluate the amount of effort needed to be put in. This is a crucial part as it can eliminate any unexpected outcomes such as spending too much time on a specific task etc.
• Organize the things to be done: This step can be overlooked most of the time. Every work requires proper planning and organizing to get things in order, to make it streamlined.
• Give your full potential: Always give your full potential no matter what the task is at hand. If you put your full effort into doing something, that leaves it less space for you to commit any errors and lose out on quality.
• Don’t spend too much time overdoing: While you have to give your maximum effort, it is really easy to get carried away and spend up too much time doing unwanted corrections to make it better.
• Find the Flow state: If you love what you are doing, it sets you up for something great and ultimately lets you reach the flow state.

Getting a balance between Productivity and Efficiency isn’t hard if you have a clear vision and know the amount of effort required to get there.

Misconceptions about being productive:

There are some common misconceptions about being productive. Some people think that having a lot of work to do makes them productive. Being productive means to work towards a goal that you have. It means to live up to your expectations and do the work you are supposed to do to get you closer to your dreams.

Things that you do otherwise are only there to keep you “busy”. Productive people have only a small amount of things on their To-Do lists. The other activities such as daily chores are only meant to fuel you to do productive tasks.

Setting realistic goals and deadlines for them will help you be more productive. This will ultimately lead you to freedom and success.

Questions to find out the difference

If you are struggling to find the difference between being productive and efficient, then ask yourself these questions. This may help you rule out and identify what you need to work on.

• Do you set priorities for the tasks?
• Are you limiting your effectiveness?
• Does the work that I do bring me closer to my goals?
• Are you just busy or being truly productive?
• Are you satisfied with the work that you do?

If you can find the answers to these questions, then it will simplify the process to a great extent. You can identify whether you need to focus more or just excel at what you are doing.

The Productivity project is a great book to get started if you need to manage time better and get more useful things done.

Bottomline

Finding the perfect sweet spot between Productivity and Efficiency is vital to anyone. It helps you master the art of giving your full effort with a clear focus on what needs to be done. It’s a perfect combination that most people overlook sometimes. I hope this helps you become a better person at managing your goals and work towards it.

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What is the Pomodoro Technique?

The Pomodoro technique is a time management technique, developed by Francesco Cirillo in the late 1980s. Pomodoro is an Italian word for Tomato. He came up with the name since he utilized a tomato-shaped timer when managing his time.

The Pomodoro technique uses a timer to break down a specific work into a set of intervals separated by breaks. This method suggests breaking all the tasks in a day to 25-minute blocks. After each block, there is a break of 5-minute. These breaks are referred to as Pomodoro. After completing four Pomodoro, a longer break lasting between 15-20 minutes should be taken.

The timer instills a sense of urgency to keep you focused on the work. While engaging in the work at hand, you rule out all the distractions and focus on the task completely. After a 25-minute block, a mandatory break needs to be taken as it helps you relax and also acts as a bridge to plan out the next block.

The technique can be employed for any task and make them more streamlined. The tasks can be tracked better and you can avoid spending more time on tasks that aren’t productive.

The six steps of the Pomodoro Technique:

• Decide the task and find out how much effort it requires.
• Set a timer to 25 minutes (either with an egg timer or with an app).
• Work on the task for 25 minutes straight. Remove unwanted distractions and focus only on the task at hand.
• Put a checkmark on the To-do list once you finish.
• Take a 5-minute break to rejuvenate yourself, then start another Pomodoro.
• Take a 15-20 minute break after completing four Pomodoros.

When you look at it for the first time, it looks simple and not so convincing maybe. But when you try it, you’ll get to know that it is very effective. This method helps you rule out unwanted distractions such as going through your phone repeatedly, checking emails, etc.

Stages of the Pomodoro Technique

The Pomodoro Technique involves these 5 important stages explained below. The workflow of the Technique looks something like this:

Planning -> Tracking -> Recording -> Processing -> Visualizing.

• Evaluate the effort required: You start by planning the effort required for a task and evaluating how long it takes for getting the desired result. Normally, this is only a prediction and you can estimate it better once you do it multiple times.
• Tracking the work you do: The timer that you set regulates the work you do and you have to keep away all distractions during this 25-minute block. A strong focus on the task is required to maintain a productive state.
• Recording the efforts: The efforts are then recorded on a To-Do list which lets you know of the results after each Pomodoro. This list provides a sense of accomplishment and gives you room for growth as you can tweak them on the subsequent Pomodoros.
• Processing the information: Any time left after that completion of a work is devoted to overleaning. This helps to improve the skill over time if you find yourself finishing the task well before the end of the 25-minute block.
• Visualizing the information: After the completion of the task, the information has to be visualized and seen as a chance to streamline the workflow further. You can visualize the results in the form of a graph or chart to track the overall result for a longer span of time.

Advantages of the Pomodoro Technique

The Pomodoro Technique comes with a lot of advantages that help you manage time better such as:

• Focus on one task at a time and eliminate multi-tasking.
• It creates a sense of urgency to finish the task no matter what.
• Take necessary breaks in between for assimilation and to avoid experiencing burnout.
• Manage time better and increase productivity.
• Spend only the right amount of time and not spend anything more or less.
• Get into the Flow or zone state.

Disadvantages of this Technique:

There are a few disadvantages to this, as it requires all the task to fall into the 25-minute block. Some tasks may require a longer span or some may need only several minutes. The Technique also has a caveat that if you don’t spend the complete 25-minute block on doing a task, then it isn’t counted as a Pomodoro. So you consider each Pomodoro as a sign of progress and usually find yourself not involved in tasks if you know that another task or distraction might get in the way. For example, if you start a Pomodoro at 5 PM but have a meeting at 5:20, then you might hesitate to start the Pomodoro. In such instances, you lose out on a few productive minutes.

Can you tailor the technique for yourself?

Absolutely. The Pomodoro technique is a strategy that you can tailor according to your needs. Some of the common modifications that I’ve seen people do are:

Combine two or more Pomodoros

While this isn’t part of the original technique, it should work for a few people who can stay focused for a longer span of time. It usually means spending about 50-minutes (2 Pomodoro) or more on the same task without an interval in between. This can help to be more focused on the task but comes with the cost of missing out on the break to assimilate the facts. For example, doing project work or writing an assignment may not require a break in between all the time. So 2 Pomodoros can be combined here.

Combining more than 2 or more is not optimal for most people since you can find it hard to stay concentrated. But if you are someone who has continuously practiced this technique, it shouldn’t be that hard.

Count Partial Pomodoros

On occasions where an unavoidable situation comes, you would have to give up on that Pomodoro to get that done. While this doesn’t count as a Pomodoro on the standard version, you would have to give credit for the work you do. So it’s worthwhile to write down the particular amount of time on the list for it to count towards the total productivity.

This isn’t always advisable as you might start taking distractions too less seriously. But it can be done on a few instances to give yourself a morale boost to make use of even smaller time blocks effectively.

This book is highly recommended if you are procrastinating way too much and need a way out: How To Stop Procrastinating.

Conclusion

The Pomodoro Technique teaches you to value time more and avoid multi-tasking. The time is ticking away even as you read this. It’s important to utilize most of the time on what really matters to you. So make it a habit to spend more time productively and be the person you want to be.

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What is Ikigai?

The two words – “Iki” meaning Life and “Kai” meaning the realization of what one hopes for, put together form the term “Ikigai”. Ikigai is the highest level of satisfaction that a human being could achieve that makes their life significant while unleashing their inner potential. In simple terms, Ikigai means “something that makes life worth living”.

While some people focus on material wealth and fame, there are others who focus on values much bigger than that. This brings them the biggest satisfaction that all the money in the world cannot provide. The feeling of wanting to create a better world for others gives pure joy and a sense of relief that you’ve found your reason for existence. You can not replace this value or give it up for something else, as this is something inscribed within oneself.

The Elements of Ikigai

Ikigai is seen as the convergence of these four elements:

• Passion – What you Love doing.
• Mission – What the World Needs.
• Vocation – What you are Good at.
• Profession – What you can get Paid for.

To discover your ikigai you have to find the correlation between these four elements. If you have some activity that covers these four elements, then that’s your ikigai!

How Not to Find your reason for Being

The reason for me starting off with this is because of the countless occasions where people have gone wrong. Some people never find their ikigai even after many years of existence. So what’s the factor they are missing? People take the long route and sometimes end up in a loop trying to find their ikigai.

I’ve seen people start off with “what you can get paid for” as the first step. This keeps them going for the short-term. Sometimes, people do make some money. But after a while, they grow tired of it and start losing interest over time. While wealth is important, it shouldn’t be the primary deciding factor in finding your ikigai.

There are countless arguments as to where you need to start. I recommend one among Passion and Mission. The world has a lot of problems to solve. If what you love is aligned to the mission, it’s much easier to work towards the other two elements.

Most of us are pushed into work that we don’t feel like doing or continue doing what we are not good at. By doing that, you lose yourself over the process and never live a fulfilling life. If you’re stuck in a similar situation, I strongly recommend you to find a bridge to connect all the four elements together in order to live the life you are destined for.

How to find your Ikigai?

Hector Garcia and Francesc Miralles break down the ten rules in their book Ikigai The Japanese Secret to a Long and Happy Life, to help anyone find their own ikigai.

• Stay active and don’t retire.
• Leave urgency behind and adopt a slower pace of life.
• Only eat until you are 80 percent full.
• Surround yourself with good friends.
• Get in shape through daily, gentle exercise.
• Smile and acknowledge people around you.
• Reconnect with nature.
• Give thanks to anything that brightens our day and makes us feel alive.
• Live in the moment.
• Follow your ikigai.

If you’re just exploring the way to find your ikigai, start with the hardest part – What the world needs. This is where most of the successful people start. If you know what the world lacks, you naturally find a clear sense of what needs to be fixed in order to make it better.

Then work your way to identify the strong points of you and find a correlation between your strong points and the world’s needs.

If you have made it up to this point, you should be loving what you do obviously. Otherwise, you wouldn’t be doing it in the first place. You’re making the world a better place, love what you do and on top of it, you have identified your personal strengths.

If you are solving a problem that the world needs, this by itself brings in greater value to most of our lives. But there are chances that you can make a living out of this and make material wealth. Thus you can continue to keep doing the work to get satisfaction and live a fulfilled life.

What is your Ikigai?

Ikigai emphasizes process and immersion rather than a final aim. So it’s not necessary that you only need to have one ikigai. And you can change your life’s purpose anytime you want, provided you have a clear vision to back it up and consistently work towards it. Ask yourself these questions in order to make the process simple:

• What is your motive or cause for doing it – The greater the purpose, the harder you need to work. Causing a change in the world requires a lot of effort and if you aren’t putting yourself on the line, chances are that you will be hidden among the crowd. The cause need not necessarily be a big one as even the smallest ones have significant effects in the long run.
• What are you great at – If you haven’t mastered anything yet, work towards making yourself better. Your strength should add additional value to the people and benefit the cause.
• What you love doing – when you truly love doing something, it takes you into the state of bliss and makes you feel alive by making you momentarily forget every other problems that you have.
• Why do people value you – If you are adding great value to the community, people will start valuing you for what you are. Something that they would pay you for in exchange for the services you provide.

Discover the Japanese secret to a long and happy life with the internationally bestselling guide to ikigai.

Conclusion

Let’s take a moment to think of all the good things we would like to bring into this world to make it a better place. Life should have a purpose and meaning, for us to be worth living it. Work towards finding your ikigai and enjoy the process. The journey to a fulfilling life is just beginning. Take one step every day to get towards your ikigai.

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What is the state of Flow?

Dr. Mihály Csíkszentmihályi describes the Flow as the state of complete immersion in an activity with full involvement and enjoyment where the outside factors no longer matter. He explained in a TED Talk about how the flow affects a person and brings out his peak performance. People all around the world would have experienced flow at some point in their life. When you do something that you’re really passionate about and have a sense of good understanding, you enter the flow state after some time. The Flow state is almost as if you have no conscious control over your body but you still give your full potential into doing an activity.

The brain controls the actions subconsciously and the pieces fall in the right places one after the other. Because of this, you are no longer bound to notice any other senses such as pain, emotions, etc.

The Flow state is sometimes referred to as “The Zone”. It is characterized by complete immersion as a result of enjoyment, the challenge, and ability that allows you to bring out your full potential.

When do you experience Flow?

You enter the flow state when you do the actions that you feel passionate about and excite you. In other words, if the activity is not boring and challenging enough to keep you engaged, you are more likely to enter the Flow state.

For example, if you play basketball with passion and determination, at a point in your career, you might experience Flow when you really enjoy doing it. While this is a factor, it isn’t inevitable that you will experience it no matter what.

It isn’t necessary that you enter the Flow only during intense sports. Some people find flow even in the smallest of things such as cooking, writing and even while performing music, dance, etc. But the experience is all the same that they gave their best without them putting effort consciously.

How does it feel to be in the Flow state?

After the research and study conducted by Csíkszentmihályi, they interviewed numerous people. They found these common traits among the people when they were in the state of Flow.

• You have clear goals, find the activity doable and well within your knowledge to finish it with ease.
• There’s an intrinsic motivation behind it and that’s influencing you to pursue it.
• You focus on the task at hand so much that you lose track of time and immerse yourself completely.
• Have a proper balance between the challenge presented and the ability you possess.
• You lose self-consciousness and find yourself doing that task sub-consciously as a result of doing that repeatedly.
• It gives you an ecstatic feeling and you no longer feel connected to the world as your actions go well past reality.
• The external factors such as pain, emotions no longer hold you back in any way and you feel highly motivated.

Depicting the state of Flow

This graph illustrates the conditions that must be met to enter the flow state. The challenge and the skills that you possess must complement each other and should be fairly high. Notice that the right balance in both of the aspects is required to get to the point that it excites you and puts you in full immersion. Whether you lack the skill or the challenge, the result isn’t likely to get you far.

If you are really skilled but have a moderate challenge level, then it implies that you have control over the task but it needs to be more challenging. On the other hand, if you make it really challenging but lack skills, then anxiety is bound to strike you. Based on this graph, you can work towards the aspect that you lack and enter the flow state.

How to enter the Flow state?

You can increase your chances to achieve the Flow state if you keep these factors in mind and work towards honing your skills. A blend of various skills is required to be in balance in order to maintain it consistently.

• Have a proper goal, the right mindset and the plan to achieve it – Without a clear vision, you will not go anywhere. You need to have a realistic goal and consistently put effort to achieve it.
• Hone your skills and rise above – It’s vital to keep pushing the limits and master your skills. This will keep you above the competition and overcome setbacks.
• Make it challenging – Every task should have a challenging element behind it to keep you engaged in the long run, otherwise, you would get bored of it at some point.
• Love what you do – This would be the deciding factor is most of the cases. You need to love the task at hand and be passionate about it in order to be able to master it. The difference between someone who loves his work and one who doesn’t really like it is huge.
• Focus on what matters the most and remove distractions – It’s so easy to get carried away by the distractions in daily life. But if you focus on the important aspects, it will give you an edge that you’re looking for.
• Keep track of your progress – You have to measure your immediate progress after each step you take and make necessary changes.
• Practice until you reach the peak – The flow state lies at the peak of your skills and challenge level. So it requires deliberate practice and consistency to get there. It isn’t something you can get to from day one.

The Advantages of the Flow state

Flow state comes with a lot of benefits that go a long way in helping one to overcome certain problems. Flow state helps keep away distractions, give you heightened senses, increase your productivity and give you pleasure. Finding the balance between the challenge and skill level is crucial. Once you reach that point, you will be unstoppable as there are no limits to what you can achieve. Gamers and Athletes can associate with them being in the zone more frequently. They can give consistent better performances and usually beat others that lack these aspects.

Bottomline

When you possess the skills, the passion, and the challenge, the flow state can put you in a better position to achieve your goals and reach success. As a result, the performance increases manifold. Through immediate feedback and the right balance, the right ingredients to control it can be found. Even though the flow state takes a while to master, it is worth mastering and integrating it as a part of your daily life.

Read the book for in-depth information about the Flow: Finding Flow: The Psychology Of Engagement With Everyday

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What is Fear?

Fear is our natural defense mechanism against anything that can cause us harm. It’s the natural mechanism that gives a warning sign that things might not go as planned.

Experiencing fear can cause behavioral changes and result in an increase in heart rate, make you nauseous, sweat and make you more perceptive and be on the lookout for various environmental dangers. You will begin to evaluate things more than once and give them the benefit of the doubt.

Fear can not only come as a result of a physical threat but also through the different choices that we make in life. Each choice that we make has some form of fear attached to it. More often than not, the fear is right. It can help us be practical and take logical decisions rather than irrational ones that may be influenced.

How to get rid of Fear?

So how do you overcome fear? Simple. You can’t overcome it. You can’t run from it or give in to it. But you can learn to manage it better as time passes. Let me tell you why letting go of fear is impossible and my thoughts on how to get around fear.

“You don’t get less afraid, you get braver.

Jordan Peterson

What are the forms of Fear?

Fear can take many forms but some are very common, such as:

• Fear of embarrassment.
• Afraid to lose someone you value.
• Fear of facing failure & poverty.
• Fear of public speaking.
• Afraid of the dark or some external factors.
• Trauma or Bad experience that induces fear.

Fear doesn’t usually mean a threat, it can also be something unknown that you are afraid to explore. Fear can prevent you from experiencing the parts in life associated with it. For example, a person afraid of heights will never visit mountains or experience sky diving as a matter of fact. Ask yourself, “What do you fear the most?” and begin to understand why do you fear them. Most probably its because then you’ve never ventured beyond that point.

Are Fear and Phobia the same?

Fear is associated with emotion while Phobia refers to an anxiety disorder that results when it exists for a long-term and usually extreme.

Fear of the dark is the best example I can come up with, as someone who was afraid of it since childhood. It is also the most fearful thing for many people while growing up. We used to imagine that there’s a ghost under the bed or in the closet hiding to get a hold of you. Honestly, there weren’t any ghosts there (obviously). While most of us aren’t afraid of the darkness itself, it might be some imaginary factors that instill fear in you.

Phobia is most commonly referred to as irrational fear. For someone experiencing a phobia, they are most likely to think of it as real and experience the trauma and various side effects. Having continual fear of something for over 6 months can be a phobia. If you are scared while you even think of it, that is something to be concerned about. And it may require professional help to get over it.

Misconception about fear

While fear is a defense mechanism, it only exists to help you through a tough situation. And no one would voluntarily want to experience fear. The common solutions to fear that indicate you to overcome them by suppressing fear or having to manipulate you by misdirection may not always work. It may be a short-term solution but it might go out of hand start haunting you again.

Some would say “Avoid the things that put you in that tough spot. Take precautionary steps to avoid being exposed to fear”. While it sounds like a good idea, it clearly wouldn’t work. If you try to have workarounds, it generally means that you can’t solve it and are trying to move away from it.

In my case, I knew there wasn’t anything under the bed or closet but still feared it anyway. Nothing really happened to me when I reached out to get something under my bed. But I didn’t take it as something to be not feared for some reason.

Avoiding fear doesn’t make you feel any better and only make matters worse because when you still face it, the knowledge about it and knowing how to walk away from it will not help. Sure, you will know why you are afraid but you will not get over it truly.

The only Step to overcome fear

The best way to overcome fear is to go out there and face it head-on. Heightened senses and warning signs that put you in danger are a force to reckon with. The power that you need to face it is already within you. You have to prepare yourself mentally and put yourself in a discomforting spot.

I decided to watch a lot of horror movies as I was scared of them anyway. I sure was prepared to see in real life, any of the characters the movies showed. When I kept watching them I was scared as hell but to my surprise, the experience of watching the horrors of them and (sometimes) being stopped by protagonists made me realize something and arrive at an interesting conclusion.

The fear inside me didn’t go away at all, but I managed to become more immune to fear. Then I learned to be braver and better at coping with fear. Later, after many years I came to know about the process as behavioral therapy and it means to expose the subject to its worst fear in a controlled environment.

When you expose yourself to the source of fear multiple times, you eventually get used to it and begin to be braver. As a result, you will no longer be afraid of what you used to fear the most.

The effective solution to overcome fear is to not run away from it but to embrace it and face it head-on.

Other ways to overcome fear

This solution is not guaranteed to work as putting you in a tough spot may not be easy. At times like this, it is recommended to gradually expose yourself to such fear but being consistent in it. Just like video games where the protagonist beats the demons and zombies if you could visualize yourself the same way it will be beneficial.

The mind doesn’t know the difference between you visualizing it and actually experiencing it, so this is another way to expose yourself to fear at a controlled level of risk.

Check this PC game out if you want to experience a psychological thriller and overcome fear: Alan Wake – Try this game out.

However, if you are fond of books, you can give these a read: The Big Leap, The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook.

‘Can a man still be brave if he’s afraid?’

‘That is the only time a man can be brave’

Bottomline

If you want to tackle the fears that hold you back and take back control in life, you have to face them with all your might. The people who smile during hard times are considered the strongest of them all. If you wish to be brave and conquer all your fears, make yourself uncomfortable by attempting things that you are scared of. You will get through them and learn to live with them. You only need to take the necessary steps for it. We never truly overcome our fears, but learn to adapt and manage them better.

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Why do you feel like giving up?

People generally think of giving up if they don’t have a plan of action or don’t see the desired results. Sometimes, there’s just no reason. You lose hope, feel tired of everything and don’t want to move out of your bed. Have you wondered why you felt that way? It may be self-doubt, despair, failure or any demotivating factors.

While it’s easy to give up, it even easier to stay on the path once you start to believe in yourself and your goals.

When you are just starting out, you won’t know if a decision is good or bad. You doubt yourself thinking if it’s all worth it. But tell yourself that it will all make sense in the end. And the pain you go through today will be replaced by the results you get tomorrow.

Remember why you started

Sometimes when things get hard we visualize all the bad things that happened to us. Instead, think about why you kept going after all this time. And if you’re reading this, your track record of getting through the bad days is 100%. ‘The reason why’ will overshadow all the bad things you endured and supercharge you to keep you going on the path. Remember the people who tell you that you can’t do anything? It’s time to prove them wrong.

Everyone gets demotivated at some point from doing the things that they even love the most. You need to strengthen your resolve and see that your purpose defeats all the other factors that hinder you. When your goal is clear, it takes courage to go after it and achieve when everybody thinks it’s impossible.

Focus on the Process

Most often, when we attempt something and don’t quite get there, it often leads to frustration. It’s important to not only focus on the outcome but also to enjoy the process to get to it. After all, it takes time to get the desired result. Instead of being result-oriented, be process-oriented to enjoy the simple things that you learn along the way. There’s a famous saying for this, “Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you’ll land among the stars.” If you learn to do the things you like in a way that brings you joy, you will never have to think of giving up.

While being focused on the process, don’t lose sight of the goal. Even if you win the battle, the war matters the most. The process sets you up and nurtures you till you reach the destination, that is the ultimate goal.

Feel the Pain and grow stronger

Pain makes you stronger and helps you grow both physically and mentally. There isn’t a better teacher than pain, as once you learn to endure it, you master the art of not giving up. Those who do not understand true pain can never understand true peace.

Sometimes you must hurt in order to know, fall in order to grow, lose in order to gain because life’s greatest lessons are learned through pain.

When pain teaches you something, endure it, learn from it and grow yourself. After everything you’ve gone through in life, you must not feel like giving up. Tap into your strength from within and realize that you’re meant for greatness.

Keep yourself on the move

The discomfort that you feel today is temporary and it will change for the better. Persistence will be the driving factor to keep you working hard and making things happen. When you feel down, write what you feel and what pulls you down. This will help you evaluate what you’ve been doing wrong to cope up with it and take corrective measures. All the work that you do has meaning to it and will make sense once you start performing it regularly.

For example, exercising regularly trains your body and mind. When you do it for the long-term you will begin to see changes that benefit you. By regularly tracking your progress with To-Do lists, you can be more productive and also keeps you from deviating from the goals.

Nothing great will come if you quit

It’s very common that we want results and the rewards that come with it but don’t want to put in the necessary effort. When you want to be like someone, ask yourself if you have what it takes to be like them. Are you putting in the efforts like them? Are you willing to fail like them and keep trying without giving up? If you only read the success stories, that’s not enough. Try to learn the failures, pain, loss, problems and every hardship behind all those stories.

If you begin to see success, you will never regret doing something. Sometimes the beginning is difficult but once you take the first step, there’s nothing holding you back.

Keep positive people around you

It is so easy to feel demotivated by someone when they push their opinions on you. But it feels more inspiring when the right person pushes you to achieve something great. You will need all the encouragement that you can get from the positive people. They usually have your back when things don’t go the way you want it to. Having positive influencers can be a distinguishing factor between you and someone who has already given up. After all the struggle, you might need someone to lean on when things don’t go as planned out.

Bottomline

Keep going until you reach the destination and cross all the hurdles that life has for you. Giving up doesn’t mean you let only yourself down, it means that you let down everyone who trusts you. It may be easier to leave behind everything and turn your back, but it takes all that you have to show you are capable of much more than that. Life is not always fair or filled with good things, you must learn to go through the night to enjoy the sunrise.

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The Eisenhower Matrix, which is also referred to as Urgent-Important Matrix, helps you prioritize tasks by urgency & importance. It can be used to find and rule out the tasks that are not productive or delegate them. This is a great solution for many people who can’t identify how they spend their time.

What is important is seldom urgent and what is urgent is seldom important.

Dwight Eisenhower

Who is Eisenhower?

Dwight D. Eisenhower was born in Texas and raised in Kansas. He was one of America’s greatest military commanders and the 34th President of the United States serving two terms from 1953 until 1961. Being the Allied Forces Supreme Commander during World War II and NATO’s first supreme commander, he had to make critical decisions every single day. It was important to make near perfect decisions as it affects a lot of people.

He followed a principle that allowed prioritizing the tasks at hand based on their urgency and importance. The reason that his principle was so popular is that he could sustain his productivity for not just weeks or months, but years together. Many people around the world still follow his principle to make their time productive. And it is a proven strategy to make you more productive and utilize the time for the best.

How to use the Eisenhower Matrix?

The Eisenhower matrix has four quadrants split based on urgency and importance. The matrix can be modified according to one’s needs such as a short-term goal or a long-term business plan. And it will still provide the desired results.

Eisenhower’s matrix consists of four quadrants indicating the possibilities of urgency and importance.

• Urgent and Important: You need to do these tasks immediately.
• Important and Not Urgent: You can schedule these tasks to do later.
• Urgent and Not Important: You can delegate these tasks to someone else.
• Not Important and Not Urgent: You have to get rid of this task.

An example of how my Eisenhower matrix looks like:

If you like this template, you can download it at no cost for your personal use. (Link at the bottom)

The four possibilities of the Eisenhower matrix explained:

Urgent and Important

These are the tasks that you feel the urge to do immediately. They may be anything from answering a call to going to work. These are the work that you have to do right away and are really important as it requires immediate attention. These tasks are given the highest priority and it is recommended to do them as soon as you can.

For me, writing an article falls in this category so I prefer doing it first thing in the morning. This sets the stage for the rest of the day to be productive.

Important and Not Urgent

This category consists of the tasks that are important in the long term but don’t require action right away. In other words, these can be scheduled to be done at another time.

A task that is important doesn’t always mean it’s urgent and requires immediate attention. Putting this aside, for the time being, gives you more time that you can focus on tasks that belong to the first possibility.

Going to the gym, finding out business strategies are important to me, but not urgent. So I don’t spend too much time on them right now. Note that this doesn’t apply to you and this is the possibility where everyone has different opinions. So it’s essential to classify the tasks at hand accordingly.

Urgent and Not Important

The tasks that you feel the urge to do immediately but they are not really required, fall under this category. This type of task can be delegated to someone else, especially if you are in the middle of doing tasks that fall in category 1.

For example, if you are preparing for a presentation and you find yourself checking social media constantly in between or doing other unproductive work. Preparing for a presentation takes priority over other tasks, ideally, you need to put your phone away to remove distractions. These distractions such as phone ringing can get in the way of your presentation and hinder the work that you do.

So it’s better to do delegate these tasks to someone else if you can’t focus on them currently. When someone asks you to do their work, make sure you finish your important task first then consider that request.

It makes a big difference if you could identify that what’s important for them may not be important to you.

Not Important and Not Urgent

When a task that takes up your time is neither important nor urgent, it is time to reconsider doing that. Such tasks are the ones that hold you back from doing the things you like and harm your productivity.

Common examples of this category are binge-watching a whole season, scrolling on social media endlessly for the whole day.

While they don’t have to be eliminated altogether, you have to find a balance between the things you do in your free time and the things you do apart from them.

It is optimal to spend most of your time on categories 1 and 2 and give the least possible amount to category 4 so that you have the energy to keep going without getting drained.

How to categorize the tasks?

It can be really easy to mistake the priorities and classify the tasks. So the next time you do something, ask yourself, “Will this take me to my goal?”. If your answer is Yes, then the task belongs in quadrant 1 or 2. If the task can be done by someone else then it belongs to quadrant 3. An answer No can only mean one thing, that you have to minimize it or eliminate it.

A process of elimination also comes in handy if you can’t seem to differentiate the tasks. The best use of time involves telling yourself “just put a little more effort” and work on the things that matter the most.

And when you find yourself engaged in a task that is unproductive, tell yourself “Imagine the work that I could’ve done when I was doing this”. Do this consistently till you no longer feel the urge to do something of no importance.

Have I tried this method and does it work?

This method requires that you identify your goals and know what you are working for. Once you realize that, this method will be a major factor in increasing productivity. This method has helped me in eliminating countless hours on unimportant things that I would rather spend productively.

The book 7 habits of highly effective people mentions this method. Read it if you have not already.

The prerequisite for this method goes without saying: Find your goal and what drives you to your goal. Identifying this will help you classify the tasks much easier.

I recommend you to try this method to increase your productivity. It can be used for even the smallest of tasks, as long as you are willing to become a better person and stop procrastinating.

Follow this link to download the Template: Download Eisenhower Matrix Template

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About 23% percent of the population identifies themselves as chronic procrastinators and this number is on the rise. Simply put, Procrastination is lying to yourself that you will complete work later and constantly putting off what you need to do. It’s like when you have all the opportunities within your reach but still can’t get them. The time that you spend procrastinating could be spent on much more meaningful and productive things.

Amateurs sit and wait for inspiration, the rest of us just get up and go to work.

Stephen King

Why do we Procrastinate?

People think that reading a lot of books, gathering more information such as hacks about how to overcome procrastination can help them overcome it.

The reason why we procrastinate and not be as productive as we intend to be is not that we lack information. We have all the information we need right on our fingertips. Rather, its because we fail to prioritize what we have to do and act.

One who is complacent in the current moment will fail to do anything that he has to. If you stay perpetually complacent, the consequence of that will be that you might end up stealing a lot from your future self. If you steal too much, the actions are sometimes irreversible.

Not prioritizing what matters the most

We are made to believe that the freer the people, the happier they will be. Now that we have a lot of freedom to choose what we like, it must mean we are happier now right?

In reality, that’s not the case. As we have a lot of choices, we tend to forget the priorities in life and perform actions according to our own free will. In the end, as a result of not putting in enough effort, if we don’t get the desired results, we feel demotivated and stop doing anything at all.

Having self-doubt

Sometimes it is hard to keep going when the odds are against you. At such times, you have to believe in yourself and overcome self-doubts. Every time you waste doubting yourself is not coming back and it doesn’t make you feel any better as well. So it’s better to get over the limitation that you set for yourself and start acting on things that matter.

Thinking that it’s not worth it

Sometimes you imagine a scenario of you not being able to achieve something that you’ve dreamt of. When you think of taking the necessary steps to get you closer to that dream, that negative feeling just holds you back. And you begin to think if it’s all worth doing it? Unless you act upon something, you will never know what lies ahead for you on the other side.

How to stop procrastinating?

I’ve gone through a lot of tips to stop procrastinating and only a handful gave actual results. One of the best tips that helped me overcome procrastinating is to leverage fear by ensuring that the stakes are too high for you to stay perpetually complacent.

Fear of something always pushes one to do something and be more responsible. Doing something out of fear can help you pay more attention to the consequences that will come to be. Fear of losing a job, a career that you dreamed of, losing someone you love (thanatophobia). All these will give you a reminder of why you should be doing it instead of procrastinating.

Why does it work?

The fear of having something taken away puts your mind into a mode where it constantly searches for a way to fix that outcome. People go after instant gratification but that is only temporary and after it fades away, you will still feel the need to procrastinate.

This is the opposite of the reward system, where you reward yourself for your achievement. In this system, you motivate yourself to achieve it or face the consequence that you have set up. Either way, it motivates you to do better.

Instead, have someone/ yourself periodically remind you of the situation you will be in if you don’t perform. The fear of consequence drives you and helps you do it without procrastinating further.

Why doesn’t it work?

Having fear constantly driving you is impossible. Sometimes you feel the urge to do it because of fear, but it may not be applicable to every action that you have to perform. We are told that it’s fine to put off things for later as long as it brings you happiness at the moment. The happiness being referred to is only temporary happiness. While you focus on instant gratification, the long term goals are getting distant and may not be reachable after a certain point.

Some people may feel that fear of consequence couldn’t be a driving factor for success. But, on the contrary, overcoming fear with even bigger fear is likely to work.

So if fear of consequence doesn’t help you get started, then find out other possible factors to influence you. You can learn all you want about motivation, productivity, and various factors. But in the end, if you don’t put all those learning into practice it won’t be beneficial.

Misconceptions about Procrastination

Procrastination isn’t a form of laziness or relaxation. A person who is lazy will not be willing to do anything in the first place, whereas a procrastinator will be willing and possess all the information but just isn’t compelled to do it.

Most of the chronic procrastinators think that they perform better at the last minute. So they waste all the time that they have until the end and complete their work ineffectively. This is a common misconception and scientifically proven to not work as they think it does.

Bottomline

Even when we’re procrastinating and hesitating, our life goes on. So it’s worthwhile to get started and do what you’re meant to, rather than wait around and waste time doing nothing that brings value. Constant improvement and deliberate practice go hand in hand with daily habits. It’s our responsibility to go out there and be who we dream of being. So start taking action without further ado and stop procrastinating!

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